A New Beginning
by StorybrookeGirl
Summary: Pan's curse has been cast and Emma and Henry go back to NYC. Storybrooke's inhabitants must go back to the Enchanted Forest but what happens when Regina finds herself there completely alone? Picks up right at the end of 3x11. Rated M for violence (and maybe mature content later on). Outlaw Queen. Please Read&Review.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hello, everyone! let me start by saying that the winter finale was just traumatic to me, I never cried so much for a OUAT episode and I don't know how the hell I'm going to wait until March. Anyway, I put all of my feelings over this episode and the broken piece of my shattered heart in this fanfiction. It's something new for me, because I never wrote anything from a character's point of view (I prefer the 3rd person because it allows me to see the whole situation much more clearly). Anyway, the idea was given to me by a frien. Of mine and I think this is proving to be quite an interesting experiment, because telling the story by Regina's point of view allows me to go deeper into what she feels. The story picks up right at the end of episode 3x11. Ok, done with the boring stuff, please enjoy the story and pleeease review to let me know if I should continue this. **_

_**P.S: thanks to my friend Giulia for giving me such brilliant idea for this fanfiction. I wouldn't have made it without her. Thank you xoxo**_

**_Disclaimer: OUAT and its characters belong to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story._**

* * *

_**Chapter 1**_

_This can't be happening_. I can't think straight as I stare at the purple cloud that's getting nearer with each passing second. I turn around, keeping my eyes fixed on the yellow bug disappearing in the distance. I can feel hot tears streaming down my face as I start sobbing silently as I feel the smoke engulfing us.  
I close my eyes and let out a broken scream. My legs give out but before I hit the ground I feel someone hugging me from behind, trying to keep me from falling. I turn my head slightly just to meet eyes as red and teary as mine. "It's ok, love.. It's gonna be alright" Hook tries to comfort me but from his voice I think he's trying to convince himself rather than trying to convince me. Because I know that nothing will ever be the same. I've lost everything now and there's no chance I'm getting it back. _I'm never gonna see my son again. _This thought alone breaks me all over again and I let go of my body completely as I lean into Hook and throw my head back in a heartbreaking scream.  
I open my eyes again as I feel him being pulled away from me but I can see absolutely nothing. Darkness surrounds me and then it's like the ground I was standing on has disappeared. I feel so emotionally shattered that I let go completely, and in a matter of seconds I start losing consciousness.

When I open my eyes the light is almost blinding. I recognize the smell immediately, and it brings new tears to my eyes. It's the fresh smell of pines, grass and wildflowers. _Home_. Anyone would be happy to find his way back home. It should be a heart-warming feeling, seeing the well-known scenery one more time, feeling the familiar breeze messing your hair and seeing the sunrays filtering so delicately through the leaves. But not me. Not after all the painful memories that are linked to the place I call home. Not after everything I had to endure here. My mothers punishments due to my careless behaviour, my loveless marriage with a king nonetheless and the death of the one man I ever truly loved. But after all this time, the Enchanted Forest seems to have found a way to bring me back to reminisce all of this, as if it were some sort of punishment.

I try to stand up but my legs are weak and I have to hold onto a tree to keep myself from falling to the ground once again. I don't know for how long I've been out but my mouth is dry and I feel really thirsty. I start walking slowly until I find a stream and bend to drink some of the crystalline water. Once I've quenched my thirst I start walking to find a way out of the woods. The sun is setting, which means it's going to be dark soon. I feel too weak to use magic to light a fire and it's something I have never done alone in my whole life. So, instead of even trying, I snuggle up against a tree and start crying.

_This is all my fault_. That seems to be all I can think about right now. If I hadn't created the curse in the first place, none of this would've happened. It would've been better if Tinkerbell had simply let me find peace in death instead of "giving me a second chance", as she put it. True, I wouldn't have had Henry, but at least I wouldn't be here now, feeling so miserable and worried, thinking about where he is, concerned about his safety although I know Emma will protect him with his life. _"He's gonna be happy, that's what matters"_ I repeat in my head as if I was trying to convince myself of that. Because I, on the other hand, am utterly alone. I have no one now, I lost the only one who ever gave me a chance. It's in that moment that I realize the others aren't anywhere to be seen.  
I feel so lonely, so vulnerable, so defenseless.. Even if I'm back in the Evil Queen's clothes they don't quite fit me like they used to. They feel like a curse themselves, condemning me to be seen as the wicked witch I once was. Or still am.. I don't even know who I am anymore, now that I've lost everything that I held dear. All I know is these clothes are a reminder of a past I'm ashamed of. I tried to be good for Henry, I changed, and I won't let this land turn me into the malevolent queen I once was. Not again.  
My hands are shaking as I remove the hairpins from my combed hair to let it fall loosely on my shoulders and back. I stand up, leaning against the tree, and start tearing the black dress apart with all the strength I have left in my body. Tearing off the sleaves, rending the lower part of the gown and ripping the corset off as if it was preventing me from breathing. When I'm left in my white slip I let myself fall to the ground and I start sobbing uncontrollably until I drift into a restless sleep, haunted by the ghosts of my past.

* * *

When I wake up I can hear some indistinct sounds. It's almost like the sound of laughter. Maybe I'm just going crazy or maybe this is all just a dream. Nevertheless, I get up and look around to find the source of that sound. I notice there's a light flickering not far from where I stand, so I start walking slowly, careful not to make any noise. As I get nearer and the light grows stronger I can make out the sounds more clearly. There are men, chatting, laughing, some of them playing instruments and singing an old ballad.  
I get a little closer to see who they are, hiding behind a tree so as not to be seen.

There's a dozen of them, gathered by the fire. Judging by the clothes they're wearing, I assume they're not rich but not quite poor as well. They look more like bandits though they don't really sound fearful or mean. They sound happy and cheerful, even if they don't have much to their names. I find myself staring at them, one after the other, trying to decide if they pose a threat.

One of them catches my eye, though, and I can't seem to tear my eyes away from him. His back is almost completely turned to me but as he turns slightly to his left to share a joke with another man I catch a glimpse of his features. He has short, dark blonde hair which almost look golden in the firelight, a little bit of stubble and a charming smile. His laughter is contagious, and I find my lips curling into the slightest of smiles. I can't take a look at his eyes, though, which pushes me to absent-mindedly take a step forward. I realize my mistake once I hear the sound of a branch breaking beneath my foot. I take a step back to try and hide behind the tree but it's too late. I look up, fear written all over my face already, just to find him staring intensely at me, bow at hand, ready to shoot an arrow right at my chest.

It would be easy. Death would at least rid me of all the pain and the suffering. But then something happens. Our eyes lock and neither of us is able to look away. Even in the dim light I can see his eyes are as blue as the ocean. We're standing still, in a tense silence, both unsure of what to do next, not knowing what to say. I see him slowly lowering his bow, though some men are whispering something to him. They're probably telling him I could be dangerous but apparently he doesn't care, because, not taking his eyes off me for a second, he takes a couple of steps towards me. I feel vulnerable, knowing I can't defend myself without my magic, so I take a step back to hide behind the tree.

"I'm not going to hurt you" I hear him whispering soothingly, the sound so low I doubt any of the men behind him even heard him. He takes another step towards me and this time he lift his arm to offer me his hand. "Please come out, step into the light.. I promise we won't hurt you". My instincts would normally tell me to run, but because of some mysterious reason I'm completely oblivious to, I do as he asks and take his hand to step over a fallen branch of the tree. As I lift my eyes once more I find myself standing closer to him than I expected, but I don't move. I take my hand away from his, though, quite missing the contact and the warmth it provided. This seems to snap him back to him senses because he then clears his through "I don't think we ever met, m'lady. I'm Robin. Robin Hood." He says bowing a little "and you are?" He asks with the most genuine of smiles.

I feel the words stuck in my throat. _Who am I? The person who is to blame for the destruction of this place. The one who selfishly took everything from these people just for her own happiness. The woman who took everyone's happy ending away forever. _As all of these thoughts start rushing through my mind I can feel tears threatening to fall and lower my head, not wanting to show the man my weakness. But what he does next surprises me. I hadn't even felt the hot tear running down my cheek until he cupped my face slowly with his hand and wiped it away with his thumb. I can't avoid losing myself in his deep blue eyes.

"I-I'm Regina.." I stutter "but you probably heard of me as the Evil Queen". I expected him to remove his hand from my cheek in fear, I expected him to take his bow again and aim right at my heart or for him to call his men to tie me up against a tree. What I did not expect was for him to show me kindness, as his hand slides beneath my chin to hold my head up so he can look into my eyes "You don't seem evil to me.." he whispers as his lips curl into the sweetest smile and he motions for me to join them.

I hesitate a little before accepting his offer and approaching the group of men. "You must be freezing.." he says more to himself than to me before grabbing a wool blanket a placing it on my shoulders gently. "Better?" he asks as he looks deep into my eyes. I simply nod my head, then follow him as we sits near the fire I'm now staring blankly at.

The other men are back to chatting and singing, so there's enough noise for Robin and I to talk without being heard by anyone else. "So, you're really her.. The one who cast the curse.." I don't even bother looking at him, his stare would probably just add to the guilt I already feel "Yes". "Well, they didn't do you any justice." he states and I slowly turn my head to face him, not understanding what the man is talking about "Excuse me?" I ask him. I'm well aware of the way my voice sounds right now. There's no emotion in it, no curiosity, no sadness, no happiness, absolutely nothing. I just feel.. numb. Which is actually a blessing, given the pain that I know is hiding somewhere beneath. He holds my gaze as he whispers "They didn't do you any justice. I heard stories about you. They all talked about how evil and revengeful but oh so beautiful you were. I never actually paid attention to those rumors but I now can say that your beauty is striking."

I know he said that just to flatter me and maybe to get a smile from me in return, but I can't move. I can't do anything, even stop the tear that is now running down my cheek. That's all they're ever going to see me as. The Evil Queen. I go back to staring at the fire, too tired to even lift my hand and wipe the tear.

"I'm sorry if I said something that upset you.. I've never really talked to a queen before and I'm well aware of my lacking manners.. I apologize.." my lips curve into a sad smile as I look down, trying to avoid his gaze as I whisper something back "It's not your fault. It's mine..".

He opens his mouth and for a second I think he has said my name, but something distracts both of us. Or better, someone. A little boy is rushing towards Robin, screaming "Daddy!" and throwing his tiny arms around his father's neck. Robin hugs him in return and places the little boy on his lap before he starts tickling him. His laughter echoes in my head, awakening memories of my first years with Henry, when we used to play games together, or watch a movie with him snuggled against me when it was raining heavily outside, drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon on top.

Robin is still laughing when his lifts his gaze to take a look at me. Tears are trickling down my cheeks now even though I'm smiling. He's about to speak when the boy whispers in his ears "Daddy, who is she?". Robin glances at him before looking again at the woman sitting next to them "This is Regina" he says smiling before addressing me "and, Regina, this is Roland, my son".

I smile at the boy as I wipe some of the tears away "Hi Roland!" I say softly "It's a pleasure to meet you". The boy smiles shily and looks up at Robin "Daddy, she's nice. Can we keep her?" he asks sweetly cocking his head of one side a little, using his best puppy eyes. I can see Robin blushing a little in the dim light of the fire, unsure of how to respond to his son. Instead he looks at me as the little boy wraps himself in a blanket and snuggles against him, resting his head on Robin's lap before slowly drifting off to sleep.

"I'm sorry. He's just not used to having company, except for my Merry Men of course. Especially female company." he says stroking Roland's hair softly. "I gather his mother isn't around much?" the words slip from my mouth before I can stop myself. "She- uhm.. My wife passed away. It was many years ago, long before the curse" there's something in the way he points that detail out, as if he's trying to spare me more unnecessary pain. As if he didn't want me to think I destroyed more lives than I already knew. Almost like he cared about my feelings. "She died during childbirth. She had been sick for a long time.." he says as his voice trails off, clearly reminiscing some moments spent with his wife.

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose someone you love.." I don't even know if I'm talking about Daniel or about Henry right now. Probably both. Just thinking about Henry is painful and not wanting to talk about him I tear my eyes away from Robin. I notice now that the other men have stopped singing and chatting and are currently settling down to sleep.

"You look tired" His voice brings me back to reality and I realize I actually am, though I dismiss the thought of sleeping, saying "I'm fine". I mustn't have sounded very convincing since I feel his arm sliding slowly and hesitantly around my waist. I look at his but I don't put up a fight, so he pulls me a little closer to him before removing his arm and motioning for me to rest my head upon his shoulder. "Come on, you look like you need a good night's sleep" he says smiling.

_Why is he so kind to me?_ I ask myself. He doesn't even know me, though he surely knows about my reputation as the Evil Queen. I don't have the strength to tell him that the reason why I don't want to sleep is because with sleep come nightmares. Nightmares of a life I have lost. Nightmares in which I'm haunted by the memories of the people I will never see again, which would only add to the pain I now feel.

Suddenly, though, something interrups my thoughts. Roland has reached out with his tiny hand in his sleep and is now grasping my index and middle finger gently. My eyes well up with tears in an instant as the memory of a one-year-old Henry grabbing my finger as he fell asleep on my chest hits me. I stroke the back of Roland's small, soft hand slowly with my thumb as I rest my head on Robin's shoulder after a moment's hesitation.  
"Thank you.." I breathe out in a low whisper as I close my eyes letting a couple of tears escape from them. I'm drifting off to sleep as I hear him saying something. I'm not sure what he said, but I'm pretty sure he whispered my name, and his voice sounds so warm and protective that I relax completely against him until darkness takes over and with it the nightmares.

_**(TBC? please let me know what you think about this)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh my gosh, thank you all for the lovely reviews, they really are worth the hard work! Reading them makes me write & update faster, so please keep them coming :) **

**I would just like to point out that in this story I'm going to leave out Mulan (whom, as you all know, should be with the Merry Men). I'll leave it to your own imagination to wonder where she is. Since I want to concentrate on Robin and Regina's story, I think it would be pointless to introduce the character then never mention her.**

**Once more, my thanks go to my friends Giulia (the source of many ideas for this story) and Alejandra (my best friend who is also my beta reader).**

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time and its characters belong to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

When I wake up the sun is up in the sky, its rays dancing on my exposed skin and keeping me warm, since it appears I pushed the soft blanket aside during the night. It takes a moment for me to remember where I am. I close my eyes again, just for a second, as I curl up and imagine, or better wish, that _this _was just a dream and that I was still in Storybrooke. That Henry is still in his bedroom down the hallway, mere metres away from me. Wishing that everything was back to the way it was before Emma arrived in town and broke the curse.

I'm forced to open my eyes when I feel a little finger poking my arm softly. When I do, I'm met with a pair of big brown eyes staring intently at me as the little boy tries to suppress a laugh. I give him a weak smile as I say "Good morning, Roland". As I place my hands on the ground to help myself into a sitting position, the boy runs happily to his father.

I see Robin is talking with another man. They look terribly serious and I can see Robin keeps looking between me and the ground, while the other man keeps staring coldly at me as he speaks. I should probably just leave before they convince him that I'm too dangerous and that burning me at the stake would be the best option to get rid of the Evil Queen once and for all. I try to stand but as I do so I suddenly feel dizzy and fall onto my knees, gripping a log just in time to prevent myself from falling face to the ground.

Robin is suddenly at my side, trying to help me sit down slowly "Hey, hey, easy there..".

"I do not require your help, thank you." This is the only thing I can do. Shut him out as I've done with so many people during my life to keep myself from getting hurt.

He frowns but looks deep into my eyes anyway, as if he's trying to figure out what is wrong with me. He doesn't look scared, just concerned "Are you alright, m'lady?".

"What do you mean?" I ask coldly as I try one more time to stand, succeding this time.

"You had quite a rough night. You were screaming in your sleep..." I don't think this ever happened to me. Well, nobody except for Henry would know anyway, as no one ever stayed the night. "Who's Henry?" Robin asks bringing me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I ask rather harshly, putting my walls up again, though I know that he heard the small amount of pain that was able to creep into my voice at the mention of my son's name.

He seems taken aback by my tone but replies calmly nonetheless "In your sleep you kept screaming this name. Henry. Is he someone important to you?"

"That is none of your business!" I bite back, louder and harsher than I intended.

Robin's at a loss for words. He looks at the ground for what might actually be mere seconds but which feel like an eternity to me. "I apologize.. Your majesty." he whispers as he looks at me once more before taking a step back, ready to turn and leave me standing here alone.

"Don't.. Please... " I breathe out in a barely audible whisper "don't call me that...".

I can feel the darkness taking over my heart again as Robin's eyes show me every bit of pain he's feeling and turns to leave. _Why do I keep hurting everyone?_ _I don't want to be that person again.._

I follow Robin, who has taken his bow and arrows and walked into the woods alone. I don't know why I do that, but I feel terrible about treating him the way I did after he showed me nothing but kindness. So I venture into the forest but the bushes are so thick I can't look past them. I start making my way through them until I finally reach the end and find myself near a stream. But when I look up there he is, aiming at me again. He probably thought I was deer or something.

It looks like he's in a sort of trance, for he doesn't lower his bow right away.

"Go ahead." I say as I lift my arms as if I was welcoming death "I have nothing left to lose..." I can hear my own voice breaking and tears welling up in my eyes as I utter those words. In that moment Robin lowers his bow and I let my arms fall against my sides. He comes closer and cocks his head a little "And what is it that you lost that causes you so much pain?".

_Everything, _I'm on the edge of screaming. All the people I loved are gone forever, I have nothing left except for my reputation as the Evil Queen. But I can't bring myself to say those words because once I do I know my walls are gonna come crumbling down and I can't allow myself to be weak right now. It would be just too painful. Saying those words would mean reaching the point of acceptance but I'm not ready for it yet. I still haven't accepted Daniel's death, lord knows how far away from accepting my separation from Henry I am.

I turn my head to the side to avoid his gaze, trying to recollect myself, when he whispers "Come on... Your highness". When I turn to face him he's smiling at me. It's one of those sympathetic smiles I rarely saw during my life. One of those smiles that say _it's ok, I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm here for you_. When he winks at me, knowing I dislike the appelative just as much as the previous one. I guess he's just trying to make me smile and I can't help but breathe out a quiet laugh.

He has pushed me over the edge, I realize that as I feel my laughter turning into sobs and hot tears cascading down my face as I gasp for air. I'm trying to choke back the tears but the damage is done and now I can't stop. I double over, keeping my arms around my waist, trying to stop the tears and the pain. But I can't.

Suddenly I feel Robin's arms around me. They're strong but gentle at the same time as they keep me from falling to the ground. I've lost what little control I had over my body, which is now shaking due to the sobs. He turns me slowly so he's now next to me instead of behind, my head resting on his chest while my hands grip his left arm tightly for support. I can feel him stroking my back protectively and whispering "It's ok, Regina. Let it all out..". I do and I emit what I'm sure must sound like a heart-rending scream, clutching tighter at his arms, but Robin doesn't complain.

We stay like this for what seems to me like an eternity. When my sobs have subsided I remain still in his arms. He doesn't say a word, after all there's no need to, because he probably knows I feel like a wreck and can't find the strength to move. Plus, I'm not sure I _want_ to move. I feel safe in Robin's arms, like nothing bad could happen while I'm with him. It's weird. The last time I felt like this was with Daniel, in those stolen embraces and kisses we shared in the dead of the night.

My eyes are closed and I'm on the verge of losing consciousness when I feel him lifting me up into his arms. Trusting him completely, I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in the crook of his neck. I can't help but think that he smells good, like pines and white musk. Maybe it's just my imagination.

The next thing I know is he's mounting a horse and one of the other men is helping him to lift me onto it as well so that I rest into his arms again. I hear them whispering. Robin tells him that I'm just tired and need to rest so he's going to bring me to the cottage and then asks him to bring Roland there later. The last thing I know is we're riding, I can tell because of the familiar sensation of feeling the wind brushing my face softly and the deaf sound of the horse's hooves against the grass. Then my world goes dark.

* * *

I wake up to the crackling sound of the fire burning in the hearth and the smell of freshly-baked bread. I open my eyes to find myself in the middle of a living room, lying on a couch facing the fireplace. I'm covered in a couple of blankets, though the fire alone provides enough heat to keep me warm. It takes a moment for me to notice that Robin is asleep on an armchair next to the couch. I look outside a window but I can't see anything, which means it's night already.

As I shift to lie on one side I hear Robin stirring and look up to see he's rubbing his eyes tiredly. He opens them and smiles at me, his voice a little hoarse after sleeping but calm and kind nonetheless "Hey".

"Hey.." is the only sound that comes from my mouth, not knowing what else to say. I push myself up into a sitting position but don't even try to get off the couch, for I feel I haven't gotten my strength back just yet. His smile widens a little, as he's clearly relieved I haven't bitten his head off yet.

"I was kind of worried you would never wake up again. You were off for several hours" I can hear it again, the concern in his voice. It makes me curious and before I know it the words are coming out of my mouth. "Why did you help me? Why do you even care about me? I'm the Evil Queen." there's no wickedness to the statement, just resignation mixed with a little bit of sadness and curiosity.

"So? I'm a bandit. I have done bad things as well. You're as human as I am, don't you think?" I'm astonished by his reply. _Does he really think I'm not that evil after all?_

"Really? Did you happen to curse an entire land just for your own happiness as well? Wow.. Then we have more in common than I imagined!" I say trying to stay detached and be sassy at the same time, but what my phrase actually conveys is the regret I feel over my actions and a feeling of self-loathing.

"I can't say I have. But I started stealing from the rich so the poor, like me, could have a happy life. So, really, I don't see that much of a difference between the two of us." he says as he stands up and starts walking towards another room.

"He's my son.." I whisper as I stare blankly at the fire before me. I don't even know why I said that but now the cat is out of the bag, so I might as well talk to Robin about him. _What harm is it going to do anyway? I'm never gonna see him again.._

I can hear he has stopped in his tracks before leaving the room and see him coming back to sit on the armchair again. He doesn't speak but instead looks at me, patiently waiting for me to be ready to talk about the delicate topic.

"_Henry_.. He's my son" my voice cracks a little when I say his name. Robin remains still, waiting, because he knows there's more to the story.

"He's actually Snow White's grandchild, but I adopted him when he was just a couple weeks old" I lower my eyes, trying to avoid his gaze "I brought him up all by myself.." I say smiling weakly at the memories flashing through my mind. "everything was fine until he found his mother, Emma.. the _savior.. _She's the one who broke the curse. When I discovered who his mother was I thought the whole thing had been architected by Rumplestiltskin and tried to give Henry back, but I couldn't.. _I loved him too much_.. " I whisper, lifting my eyes to look at him, for having a son himself, Robin must know the feeling.

"May I ask where he is now?" he asks after a moment's hesitation. I take a deep breath before replying, I don't want to shed any more tears for today "He's in another land. The land where my curse took us.. He had to leave with Emma before the curse hit, otherwise he would've been alone" I explain, foreseeing his questions. "The curse, re-cast by Rumplestiltskin's father, brought us back here because we were born in this land, but Henry wasn't. So I had to let him go, I can never see him again" Those words are still echoing in my mind since the moment I understood that not seeing Henry ever again was my price for the curse "I wiped their memories so they would be happy. I owed them that.."

I feel Robin reaching out with his hand to squeeze mine gently before giving me a sympathetic smile "See? I told you. You don't seem evil to me. On the contrary, I think you're the bravest woman I ever met. You just sound lonely, and you shouldn't be. _No one should_."

* * *

**(TBC ?)**

**Please review to let me know what you think about it :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Hey everyone! First of all, Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. Hope you've been eating and smiling through these days as much as I have! I also took the spare time I had to write. Your reviews made me write a lot faster, so keep them coming, please, for they really make my day! :)_**

**_Disclaimer: OUaT and its characters belong to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story._**

* * *

**_Chapter 3_**

A week has gone by since we returned to the Enchanted Forest and not a moment goes by that I don't think about Henry. I feel empty and useless without him. After all, being a mother is the only thing I've done right in my whole life. Who am I now?

I must admit, though, that spending time with Robin and Roland has proved to be helpful. During the first couple of days Robin tended to me to make sure I regained my strength, then he started going out again to hunt. Meanwhile I got to help at the cottage, doing the dishes and things like that. It's not like there's somewhere I need to be. Most of the inhabitants that have been cursed and brought to Storybrooke almost three decades ago still hate me, so what good would do me to find them right now?

Looking after Roland also helped a little. He's a lovely little boy and Robin has done a wonderful job so far, considering he's been raising him on his own. It's not hard to see, though, that Roland longs to have a mother. Robin insisted on sleeping on the couch since there are no guest rooms in the small cottege, so I could sleep in the king-sized bed next to Roland's smaller one. After a couple of nights I felt him tugging at the blanket and turned to face him, though the dark made it hard for me to see him clearly. "Are you alright, Roland?" I asked sleepily, used to being awakened by Henry's nightmares when he was about the little boy's age. In the dim moonlight that filtered through the window I could see him shaking his head as he brought a hand up to rub his eye as he asked in a small, sweet voice "Can I sleep with you tonight, 'Gina?". _How could I say no to that voice? _I lifted the blanket and patted on the empty spot next to me as a sign of approval. He climbed under the blanket and snuggled up with his back against me. It was intoxicating to feel that little body pressed so gently against mine, in need of love and protection. I stroked his hair delicately until we both fell asleep. After that night it became a habit for him to climb in the large bed, knowing I would be welcoming him with my arms wide open. _He needed me as much as I needed him._

Tonight, though, I can't seem to relax enough to fall asleep. If Roland hadn't been sleeping so peacefully next to me I would've been twisting and turning all night. So I just lie there, wishing it was Henry that I was holding in my arms, imagining that Daniel was the one I was living with. These thoughts cloud my mind and I find it harder to breathe, so I slip silently out of bed. I take a wool blanket that lies at the end of the bed and tiptoe out of the room, then make my way through the living room, headed to the door, careful not to wake Robin.

As I hear the door shutting quietly behind me, I'm finally able to take a deep breath. The morning air is chilly, so I sit on the porch swing, wrapping myself in the comfy blankets. The stars are still visible in the dark sky. I can't recall the last time I really stopped to look at them. I used to love lying on the grass, looking at the stars with Daniel when we managed to meet in the dead of the night. In Storybrooke, on the other hand, I had no time to really enjoy the landscape. I was too busy on running the town and being a single mom, too busy caring about my vengeance, which prevented me from enjoying the beautiful things life had to offer.

It's quite beautiful, out here. The cottage is in the middle of the woods, so it's surrounded by trees but with a small clearing in front of the porch, which faces East. I see the first sunrays peaking behind a hill and the sky and clouds start painting themselves of multiple shades of orange and pink. I'm so amazed by the scene before me that I don't notice Robin has come out on the porch until he sits beside me on the swing, handing me a steaming cup of tea.

Robin and I have developed a sort of friendship over the past week. I know he's trying hard to get to know me but my past is not something I feel comfortable talking about.

Truth is, I've never really had a friend so I don't know how to act around him.

He's always so nice and caring, though, that I'm starting to think that maybe opening up a little to him wouldn't be a bad idea. After all, isn't this what friends are supposed to be for, to listen to your problems and support you no matter what?

"What troubles you, Regina?" He asks calmly, while the both of us look at the sun as it lifts from the hill and disappears behind a cloud, its rays coloring the sky creating a breathtaking view.

"It's nothing, really. I just couldn't sleep." I say before taking a sip of the delicious tea.

"Regina you can talk to me, you know that" he stated as he squeezed my arm gently, smiling reassuringly at me. The sunrays hit his features delicately, his blue eyes shining in the daylight. He's quite a handsome man.

"I was thinking about my son.. And my fiancée" I say looking down at the cup I'm holding in my hands.

Robin seems taken aback a little as he whispers "Oh.. Didn't know you were engaged.." but I stop him before he draws the wrong conclusion "I'm not.. He died".

"Regina, I'm so sorry.." there's that kindness again, I can sense it in his words.

"Don't worry, it was a long time ago" I say giving Robin a sad smile.

"Do you mind if I ask how?" I'm surprised by his question. People didn't usually ask about that, but then again they were cursed, maybe that was why.

"My mother.." As I speak I try to detach completely from the story I'm telling, as if it isn't my past I'm talking about, as if I wasn't there as I saw my hope and dreams turned into dust in front of my eyes. It would be too painful "she ripped his heart out and crushed it. I was to marry the king after saving his daughter's life but I was in love with the stable boy, Daniel. He was kind to me, I think he was the only one who ever truly loved me. We were about to run away together, get married and have a family of our own. But we never got the chance to, all because Snow White couldn't keep a secret. She told my mother and, well.. You know" I say sort of matter-of-factly, with a bit of coldness in my voice, as I reminisce looking at her the next day as I explained to her Daniel had run away, the girl blissfully unaware of the consequences of her actions.

I don't want him to make any kind of remark about the story so I change the subject "This cottage is really beautiful, you know?" I say looking around.

"Thanks" he says, not taking his eyes off of me for a second "I built it"

I turn suddenly to look at him, my eyes widening at the revelation "Really? All by yourself?"

Robin breaths out a quiet laugh "Yes, though my Merry Men helped a little when Marian got sick and we travelled the land to find a cure. We were supposed to live here and have a family.." he says and I hear as much sadness in his voice as I can see in his eyes "After she died I started working on the house non-stop until I finished it. It was the only thing that could take my mind off the fact that she was no longer by my side."

This time I'm the one to reach out to rest my hand gently on his and squeeze it slightly "I'm sorry"

As our eyes lock for a brief moment, Roland opens the door and walks outside. I retract my hand and tear my eyes away quickly before going back to sipping my tea. Roland is hugging the teddy bear I gave him and rubbing his eyes. He's just too adorable, it's impossible not to love him.

"Hey, good morning champion!" Robin greets his son with a big smile and outstretches his arms for him to jump on his lap, but instead Roland avoids his father, biting back a laugh as he walks towards me and without saying a word tries to climb on top of me. I share an amused look with Robin, who is now suppressing a laugh as well. I hand him my cup so I can help Roland by lifting him up and into my lap, since he's too small to climb onto the porch swing alone.

The moment he is in my arms he snuggles against me, avoiding his father's eyes. I laugh to myself as I hug the little boy to myself, placing a kiss on top of his head.

"I see.. Forgetting the man who raised you for a beautiful woman, huh? Well, can't say I didn't raise you well!" Robin says pretending to be offended at his son. He smiles at me as he starts tickling Roland. I feel myself blushing a little as I hum a quiet laugh. The way his sweet words make my heart flutter doesn't feel weird. On the contrary, it seems completely natural, like it's meant to be like this. I don't pay the thought much attention, though, instead I focus on Roland as he hugs me, hiding his face from his father, and I play along, protecting him from Robin.

* * *

"You're good with kids" Robin says after Roland has left to change his clothes and have breakfast.

"Thank you. It's good to know I'm good at something" I say smiling proudly.

"I was thinking about something, though. You said you raised Henry but that he's not your son, not biologically at least. I was wondering why you decided to raise him instead of having a child of your own."

And now my face goes back to being the cold, emotionless mask I've worn most of my life "Because I couldn't" I say simply, but seeing Robin frowning a little I decide to tell him why. Since nobody really knows about this at least I'll get it off my chest "You know, King Leopold wasn't as kind as everyone thought. He loved his wife and his daughter but he never loved me. He used me, like I was just a toy. Being with him was horrible but I had to endure it, night after night." I close my eyes for a while as I take a deep breath and sigh at the painful memories that hit me "One night was particularly rough, though.. See, he never intended for me to carry an heir. He already had Snow and she would rule the kingdom after his death. If I had given birth to a boy, he would've been first in line to be king. When I found out I was pregnant I told him right away. I was starting to show a little and the healer said I was probably 13 or 14 weeks along. I was over the moon, of course. That baby would've been mine, and he or she would've probably been the only good thing in my life. But Leopold didn't take the piece of news quite well. He started beating me until I lost consciousness. Needless to say, I miscarried.." I say quietly, my voice starts shaking as I fight the tears that are welling up in my eyes "..and, to make sure it never happened again, he forced me to drink a potion that made me barren. I got to raise Henry and I will always be thankful for that, but even he has been taken from me in the end. I guess I just wasn't meant to be a mother after all".

There's no need for words on his side. His horrified, outraged but also sympathetic expression speaks for itself.

With the corner of my eye I see him placing the mug on the coffe table next to him, then suddenly I feel him pulling me closer to him. He embraces me, his hand stroking my back softly while I rest my head against his chest, closing my eyes as I listen to the steady and strong heartbeats. It's like a lullaby and relaxes me so much I barely register Robin whispering something to me "_I swear, Regina, nothing's gonna happen to you while I'm by your side. I will always protect you."_

* * *

**_TBC?_**


	4. Chapter 4

** A/N: Get ready for a little drama! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

_**Chapter 4**_

The weeks start going by, day after day. I stay with Robin and Roland, not at all anxious to find Snow White and the others. Despite the Merry Men showing their disapproval, Robin asked me to stay with them if I didn't mind to. He said Roland could use a motherly figure in his life and, besides, he had already gotten attached to me. The Merry Men feel differently about me: according to them I'm not to be trusted, they say I might still pose a threat to everyone's safety. I keep trying to show them I've changed, for example by refusing to use magic, since that's what darkened my heart in the first place. Besides, Henry wouldn't want me to use it and I want to be better for him, even if I will probably never see him again.

Not using magic isn't a problem when it comes to doing the dishes, preparing the meals or even cleaning the house, since I've done all of this on my own and without a scrap of magic for a long time. I never learned how to sew my own clothes, though, which is why Robin gave me Marian's old dresses. They're quite beautiful and I find myself wondering how it must feel for him, seeing me wearing them.

Since everyone in the Enchanted Forest was taken to Storybrooke when I cast the curse, Robin and the Merry Men haven't had much to do except wandering the land and seeing if there was something useful to them in the old, deserted palaces and mansions. After all, there were no rich from whom to steal nor poor to whom to give. They still gather to protect the forest and keep everyone safe, especially since the ogres came back, but they spend a considerably smaller amount of time doing that, which means Robin spends more time at home with Roland and I.

He often takes the little boy out to teach him archery while I clean and prepare the meals. It's a quiet life, I've got nothing to complain about.

I'm baking an apple pie when I hear some knocks on the door. I hum quietly and smile to myself as I put the pie in the oven and head towards the entrance, wondering what Roland's going to tell me today. Yesterday he told me a squirrel climbed on his leg and he fed him some nuts. He couldn't stop smiling.

When I open the door, though, I don't see Robin or Roland. Standing tall right in front of me is Little John, Robin's lieutenant. I'm a little startled and confused by his sudden appearance, since he rarely comes by the house. Nevertheless, I put on a polite smile "Little John.. Hi! Is everything okay?" He's a big man, a little scary if he wants to be, for he's tall and strong "Do you wish to come in? I've got something in the oven so.." I say as I take a few steps back towards the kitchen, allowing him entrance at the same time.

"You have to leave." at his words I stop in my tracks. I close my eyes as I let out a whisper "What?"

"You don't belong here. Robin is a good person and Roland doesn't deserve to grow up around a woman who destroyed the life of thousands people. If you really care about them, you'll understand this is the right decision to make." He says calmly but firmly before I hear him stepping outside the house, closing the door behind him.

_He's right, isn't he? _Who am I fooling, playing house like nothing ever happened, pretending my heart wasn't dark and that I could forget completely about my past?

I stand still for a couple of minutes, until I hear some noises outside and the front door bursting open. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and turn to find Roland sprinting towards me with Robin right behind. Roland throws his arm around my legs and stays like that for a moment, as I stroke his hair quietly.

When he pulls away he holds his hand up to show me something "Look, 'Gina! It's for you!" he says cheerfully as he hands me a sparkling blue stone "He found it near the river" Robin said. As I look at the stone a memory comes back to my mind. When Henry was five I went to pick him up from school one day. When I saw him coming out of the door running, I lowered to pick him up and he threw his hands around me. When he pulled away he showed me what they had done that day.

Mary Margaret had asked the children to paint a small stone and to give it as a gift to the person they loved most. Henry painted it all blue, knowing it's my favorite color, and put some glitter on top of it, in the shape of a heart. I knew it was normal for children at that age to love their parents more than anyone else, but still I couldn't help but shed a tear of joy when Henry gave me the stone. It was the first time I really felt loved by someone after Daniel.

This is when I realize that Little John is right. _I can't stay here and ruin their lives. They deserve better than me_.

* * *

I decide to wait until it's completely dark outside to leave. I have nothing to bring with me so there are no packed bags to give me away. Roland is lying sound asleep in my arms. It breaks my heart to leave him, but it's what I have to do to give him his best chance. I place a single kiss on his forehead and slip silently out of bed, careful not to wake him. I put on a cloak before crossing the living room tiptoeing. I stop by the front door, turning to take one last look at Robin. He's sleeping peacefully on the couch in front of the crackling fire. _He's going to be better off without me_, I think as a tear runs down my cheek. I don't close the door completely, just enough for it not to open again on its own, thinking the sound might wake up Robin.

I head into the woods, the chilly air brushing my face. At some point I even think I hear someone calling my name but I dismiss the thought immediately. My mind must be playing tricks on me with all the memories of Henry, Daniel, Roland and Robin that are running through my mind. I come to a halt in front of a river. It's roughly 10 meters wide and there are some stones emerging from the water that can help me cross it, but the water is ice cold and I don't want to slip. I take a deep breath before I start moving from one stone to another. When I'm in the middle of the river I notice the next rock is quite far, I can't reach it without jumping. At this point there's no choice, though, so I do.

I catch my balance just in time so I avoid falling into the river. The stones are slippery and if I fell I would probably hurt myself badly. _Not that I care much about it right now._

I push the thought out of my head as I reach the river bank on the other side. I lean against a tree for a minute before I start walking again.

Suddenly, a scream followed by a strange thud mixed with the sound of water splashing reaches my ears, making me stop in my tracks. I turn abruptly to see what caused the noise and, much to my horror I see it was not something but someone.

My eyes widen in a mixture of shock and fear and I can feel the blood freezing in my veins when I see Roland's body lying limp on the rocks as the cool water covers most of his body.

I start panicking as I scream his name, running desperately towards him. He's unconscious, he must've hit his head pretty hard on the stones.

"Roland.. Roland! Please open your eyes, please!" I scream desperately, tears running freely down my cheeks as I struggle to breathe. I pick him up in my arms and make my way carefully out of the river. He's as cold as ice due to the water so I wrap him in my cloak to keep him warm as I rush to the cottage.

I push the door open with my back and go right in front of the fire, waking Robin. He's on his knees next to his son in a matter of seconds, his eyes filled with dread at the sight "Roland.. Regina what happened?" he asks looking at me trying to understand why Roland was hurt, but I can't speak "He.. He..." I still can't breathe properly as I brush his hair away from his face with my hand and stare at it, completely terrified, when I see it is full of blood.

My hands are shaking as I look at his pale skin, his eyes closed, my heart breaking a little bit more with every sob I try unsuccessfully to choke back. Robin tries to stop the bleeding pressing a cloth against his head and wraps him around a blanket but we both know that won't be enough.

"Regina, you can help him!" I suddenly hear Robin say. I look at him, my eyes wide in fear "You have magic, Regina, please save him!"

I look at Roland for a moment. I can't let him die, even if it means going back to using magic, even if in the end it's going to turn me into the Evil Queen again. It's a sacrifice I'm willig to make.

My shaking hands hover above his chest and a golden light engulfs him. The bleeding stops and Roland slowly starts opening his eyes.

I let go completely. My body start shaking badly when I start crying out loud with my hands over my mouth to stifle the pain-filled sounds, as I'm doubled over, trying to calm myself down.

Robin is now hugging Roland tightly to himself but if they're saying something I can't hear it.

I feel Robin placing his hand on my back but I shake it off, letting my body fall back and draw back until I'm leaning against the wooden wall. He makes sure that Roland is fine before leaving him on the couch to come to me."Regina.." he whispers after kneeling before me, but I keep shaking me head, my eyes still closed "Regina, it's alright. He's fine, you saved him.." he grips my shoulders firmly but gently at the same time. I open my eyes to look at him, his expression still quite shocked but also relieved because Roland is fine. He reaches up with his hand to wipe the tears away from my cheek before pulling me into a hug. I look over his shoulder and fix eyes with Roland, who is probably a little confused about what just happened. I stretch my arm towards him and see him jumping off the couch and running towards me. I catch him in a warm embrace and promise to myself to never let any harm come to him again, as I kiss the top of his head repeatedly.

* * *

After tucking Roland into bed, Robin joins me in the living room. I'm curled up on the couch, hugging me legs tightly as I stare at the fire. I still can't fathom how all of this happened. I hadn't even realized I was being followed, what if I hadn't heard him when he slipped on the wet stones? I can't even think about that possibility without my heart skipping a beat.

He sits next to me, one leg tucked under him on the couch so he can face me "So.. What happened out there?" I try to look away but he gently cups my cheek with his hand so I have no option but to look at him. "It's all my fault.." I say letting out a shaky breath "I didn't notice he had followed me and...".

"But where were you going, Regina?" he asks. I can feel tears pricking my eyes but I hold them back "I was leaving.."

"And why would you do that? Without even saying goodbye.." he lowers his hand to find mine and hold it softly. "Because you will both be better off without me." he tries to stop me but I jerk my hand away from his and stand up "Robin, open your eyes! I'm the Evil Queen, all the ones I hold dear end up getting hurt, or worse, and I don't want anything to happen to Roland.. Or to you..".

"Wait, did someone tell you to leave? Was it Little John?" I look at him, frowning slightly "How do you know?" He stands up and walks towards me "I know because he's been bugging me since we met, saying that you were not to be trusted, that you were evil and dangerous.."

I cut him off abruptly, taking a step back "Well, he's right!". He keeps coming closer, shaking his head slowly and whispering "He's not.." I come to a halt because my back is now against the wall "He's not, because he doesn't know you. Not the real you.."

He stops when his body is mere inches away from mine "You saved my son.." his hands rest on my shoulders for a couple of seconds "You showed me that you are not evil.." they slide slowly down my arms "but misunderstood.." he takes my hand in his "You are sweet and loving.. Those are not the qualities of a wicked woman" he whispers placing my hands on his chest gently.

I can't think straight as he looks at me with those blue eyes, my heart quickening its pace as I feel his own heartbeats with my hands. He tries to close the distance between us, whispering "Regina, I.." but I turn my head quickly and remove my hands from his chest. In a swift move I free myself and run to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

I rest my back against the door and slide down to sit on the floor. From the quiet sounds I hear, I think Robin is leaning against the door as well. I allow my eyes to close for a moment as I take a deep breath, before opening them again, frowning in bewilderment.

_What the hell just happened in there?_

* * *

**A/N: Sooo, how was it? Good? Bad? Terrible? I can't wait to know what you all thought about it! :D I can promise you next chapter is going to be great, so be sure to review, it might make me update faster ;) xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you guys for your lovely reviews, they seriously make my day! I just wanted to reply to ****_RegalMadness_****' review: I know I haven't mentioned Snow, Charming and the others yet, but keep in mind that they didn't abandon Regina there, they just landed in another part of the Enchanted Forest. Anyway, I'm going to bring some of the others into the story at some point, including Hook, Emma and Henry :)**

**One more time a big thanks to my friends Giulia and Alejandra, without them this fanfiction wouldn't have been written in the first place. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

**_Chapter 5_**

After crawling into bed I try to fall asleep but I'm restless. Every time I try to close my eyes all I can see is Robin coming towards me, his blue eyes staring into mine. I can still feel him touching my arms softly, I still feel his heart beating just a few inches away from mine. So I lie in bed, eyes wide open, keeping Roland close to me. He's sleeping like an angel, as if nothing happened, as if he hadn't almost died in my arms just hours ago. I don't know what I would have done if he had died, nor do I want to think of it.

My mind drifts back to the day Henry almost died. It was all my fault, of course, it always was. I remember when I saw his lifeless body on the hospital bed my heart almost stopped, much like it did a few hours ago. I wish Henry was here with me, just to make sure he's safe.

After a while I notice the sun is rising. From the bed I can only see the sky getting clearer, the sun is probably still hiding behind the hills, though. I hear some light knocks on the door and my eyes are wide open in a second. I'm not ready to face Robin, not after last night. I hear the door opening slowly, so I close my eyes and turn my head slightly to bury my face further into Roland's hair.

"Regina.." I hear his soft whispers as he calls my name softly "Regina.." He's getting closer. I hear a soft thud and I think he knelt beside the bed, right next to me. It's hard to keep my eyes closed when all I would like to do is turn and look into his beautiful eyes.

"Regina, I know you're awake.." he whispers. For a minute I'm tempted to open my eyes but I don't. I can feel his hand stroking my arm gently and I fight with all myself the goosebumps that almost form on my skin and the heartbeats that get quicker with each passing second.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for last night. I don't know what came over me, maybe I just got.. caught in the moment" _What does this mean? That he doesn't have feelings for me and only tried to kiss me because I saved his son? Or perhaps that he does and the events from last night only helped him gather up some courage to show me that? And why do I care so much anyway?_

"Anyway, I would like to talk to you, there's something important I have to tell you.. I'll let you rest now" After saying this, he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I decide not to open my eyes and instead rest, just for a few seconds. _What would he want to talk to me about anyway? Does he want me to leave? Has he finally wrapped his head around the idea that I'm dangerous and they would be better off without me? Well, I can't blame him for that, can I? But I will miss them very much, I think I'm starting to lov…_

* * *

When I wake up the sun is up in the sky. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the light. When they do, I turn my head to the side, looking for Roland, but he's not here. I sit up, frowning in a mixture of confusion and worry. I would've woken up if he had slipped out of bed, I always did when Henry slept with me. I look all around the room but he's nowhere to be seen. I start to panic slightly and I'm just about to get up when the door opens slightly and I see Roland peeking shyly into the room.

In a moment of relief I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding and, without saying a word, I stretch my arms towards him. He opens the door and runs towards me, jumping on the bed and right into my arms, causing me to almost fall back on the bed. I hug him tight and place a kiss on top of his head, not thinking about letting go anytime soon.

"You scared me last night, Roland. Do you understand that?" I say with my face still buried in his hair. I feel him nodding slightly against my chest before he whispers "I'm sorry, 'Gina". He pulls away slightly, just enough to look at me with teary, puppy eyes while his lips form small pout "But why did you leave? Don't you like staying here with us?". _How could I tell him that he should be afraid of me because I killed thousand of people and that running away was the only thing I could do to make sure they weren't harmed in any possible way? How could I, when all he does is look at me with those brown eyes screaming at me to love him? _

"I.. I just didn't feel very well. I needed some fresh air, that's all" I say as I lift his chin slightly before poking his nose with my index, causing him to giggle a little. He doesn't question me anymore, thanks heaven he's only 4 years old. In reply, Roland hugs me tighter than before, if that's even possible.

"Roland, where's your father?" I ask him hesitantly. I don't hear any sound around the house, so I assume he's gone hunting or he's wandering around the woods with the Merry Men. The little boy looks up at me, hardly able to contain his excitement "I can't tell you, it's a secret!" he says giggling. _He's just too adorable_.

"Okay, very well then!" I say tickling him a little and laughing with him before getting out of bed "Have you already had breakfast?". He looks amused as he looks at me but I don't understand why until he replies "We've already had lunch!". Upon hearing those words my eyes widen in disbelief "Are you serious? Oh my God, what time is it?" I ask more to myself than to him as I look outside the window to try and make out the time from the position of the sun. It should me about 4 or 5pm.

"How long has your dad been gone, Roland?" he shrugs a little "Dunno. But he said that when you woke up I should take you to play outside until the sun started to set, so let's go!" he says grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the room.

I'm not at all comfortable with this '_secret_' Roland is keeping. I wonder what Robin has in mind when I suddenly remember him saying that he wanted to talk to me. _Is all of this about that? But then again, what would staying far from the cottage have to do with it? He isn't even here!_

I push the thought out of my head as I follow Roland outside and start running in the green field after him.

* * *

After playing with Roland for a couple of hours I'm completely exhausted. I see the sun is starting to set and I let myself fall on the soft grass and take a deep breath of the evening air. Before I know it Roland jumps right on top of me, which causes us both to laugh until our muscles ache.

He lets out a yawn and I can see he's very tired as well, for his eyes are starting to close. I stand up slowly, keeping him on my hip as I start walking towards the cottage. By the time I get to the house he's fast asleep, with his arms around my neck.

I stop in my tracks right before I open the door. The smell of cooking has filled the air, probably due to some window that has been left open. I know it's childish of me but I was hoping Robin wasn't at home already. But I know I can't avoid him forever, it would be foolish of me to believe so. My eyes fill with tears and I linger on the porch for a minute, cradling Roland quietly, holding him a little bit tighter, for I know Robin is going to ask me to leave and I will never see him again. I'm glad he's asleep. At least this is going to be painful just for one of us.

Gathering up some courage, I turn the knob on the front door and push it open. When I enter the house, I find both Robin and Little John sitting in the living room in front of the fire. _Why is he here? Did Robin ask him to stay with him in case I did something bad to him or Roland?_

Robin walks up to me, so I reluctantly let go of Roland and place him in his father's arms "Thank you, for everything." I whisper to Robin "And please say goodbye to Roland for me" and with that I turn to leave the house as hot tears start streaming silently down my cheeks."Why would I have to? Where are you going Regina?" I hear him whispering. When I turn to look at him he's placing Roland in Little John's arms and then he starts walking towards me "I..I thought you were gonna ask me to leave.."

He lifts a hand to wipe away my tears with his thumb and I feel a lump in my throat for that sweet and unexpected gesture "No, absolutely not" He whispers "I just want to talk, if that's okay with you..".

I'm not sure I can do it since I can't even say _yes _to him, but I nod my head in reply. He holds the door open for me and encourages me to walk out "I thought you wanted to talk.." he smiles at me "Yes, but not here".

I look at Roland once more before walking out of the cottage with Robin following right behind.

"I've prepared a little something for you. I really hope you like it.. this way" Robin says smiling shyly as he leads me to a clearing not far from his house but which I have never seen before.

My heart stops for a moment as I look, amazed, at the scene in front of me. There's a table already set with a red candle lit on top of it that provides enough light for me to see a bottle of red whine and the plates filled with what, from the delicious smell, I assume is roast with baked potatoes. If that isn't enough, there are strings that go from one tree from the other, almost like a net, with glass jars which have been filled with lit candles hanging from it. It' just.. _magical_.

After a couple of minutes I notice Robin is holding his hand out for me to take and, without thinking about it twice, I do.

"You've done all of this.. for me?" I ask, still mesmerized by all of it, as I sit down at the table and he sits in front of me "Is it.. too much?" he asks hesitantly "No, no!" I say quickly before smiling shyly at him "..it's perfect".

* * *

The dinner goes by very smoothly, though I'm quite nervous. It's awfully easy to open up myself to him. We talk about everything, basically, though we don't linger much on the deaths of Daniel and Marian, knowing it would be just painful for the both of us. I tell him about Storybrooke and about raising Henry all by myself while he tells me stories about the Merry Men's raids and raising Roland as a single father.

"I'm curious" I say at some point as I keep sipping the red wine, even if I've probably had more than enough "Why did you do this? I mean all of this actually. Being nice to me, letting me stay with you and Roland, preparing all of this for me.." I say motioning at the table and at the lights hanging from the tree "I don't exactly have the best reputation around here, or anywhere else, for that matter.. But, still, you gave me a second chance. Why?"

Robin stands up and holds his hand out for me "Come with me.." he whispers giving me a flash of his sweetest smile. I take his hand and don't let go even when I'm standing. I let him lead me into the woods again and up a little hill from which I can see the cottage. There are no candles here, so when I look up at the sky I can see a million stars shining "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

I can hear Robin laughing a little under his breath as he says "That's not what I wanted to show you" I look at Robin, who is standing closer to me than I thought and I find him looking at me closely as he whispers "Look around..".

I do and I can see nothing at first, but then I notice some small lights flickering in the dark. It takes me a moment to realize there are fireflies dancing all around us. I can't contain the smile on my face as I look all around me and then back at Robin who, I assume, hasn't taken his eyes off of me for the entire time.

"It's the first time I really see you smile" he says grinning at me "Regina, what I wanted to tell you is that.. I think I'm in love with you. I think I've been since the first time I lay eyes on you." he takes my hands hesitantly but I let him, not breaking eye contact for a second "This is why I did all of this. It's all for you because, to me, you're a wonderful woman and you deserve to have all of this and more. You're perfect, Regina, just the way you are.."

I don't know what to say to him, so instead of ruining everything I just look at him, letting my walls crumble down as he closes the distance between us and I melt completely into his kiss. It's intoxicating. The only think that makes me pull away for a second is the lack of air. I take that moment to look at him as I run my fingers through his hair. He's so handsome, I can't help but smile. I find myself being pulled into the kiss again. It's delicate but also passionate. It's weird, but the good kind of weird, because nobody ever kissed me like this, not even Daniel. It just feels.. _right_.

At some point I start feeling little water drops on my skin, but we don't break the kiss until the rain gets heavier. I don't mind the rain and close my eyes for a while, enjoying the feeling of the cool water running down my back and the warmth of Robin's body pressed against mine.

He pulls away and I miss the contact immediately, but then he takes my hand and we start running towards the cottage. I haven't felt so alive in years.

Before they make it to the porch, I feel Robin pulling my hand, causing me to turn back and crash into hism. He looks at me for a moment before whispering "You're beautiful.." as he tugs a strand of wet hair behind my ear. I smile and I think I even start blushing a little, but I don't care.

I kiss him slowly, with my arms around his neck to keep him close. I gasp a little when I feel him lifting me up and in a matter of seconds my legs are wrapped around his waist.

Robin climbs the few steps in front of the porch and pushes her back against the wall beside the entrance. I'm unable to contain a moan as he leaves a trail of hot kiss down my neck - his white linen shirt is soaking wet and it adheres perfectly to his well-toned torso - I pull the bottoms of his shirt open and start running my hands on his wet skin, starting from his abdomen and resting my hands on his chest to feel his heartbeat. We look into each others' eyes for a moment, panting a little, before I feel myself unable to contain myself and my lips crash onto his. I deepen the kiss immediately, tasting him. I feel his hands on my sides, running from my breasts down to my bottom through the dress' fabric.

He turns around, pushing the door open and entering the living room. "Wait.." I whisper, trying to catch my breath but keeping my eyes closed "Where's Roland?". "He's with Little John and the Merry Men, we have the house to ourselves.." he replies as he places soft kisses on my neck. I land on the couch with my back, Robin's body pressed hard against mine. I lift my arms as he slowly removes the dress from my body. The feeling of his hot hands on every inch of my skin is indescribable and causes me to arch my back off the couch. I feel a deep warmth spreading all over my body from head to toe and I lift my upper body to kiss him slowly as I blindly proceed to remove his shirt.

I let myself fall slowly to the couch again, his right hand next to my head to support his weight while the other is running down my back, his thumb pressing softly against my side, causing me to moan in pleasure. I push my head back into the couch, leaving my neck exposed, so Robin starts nipping at my skin softly before leaving sweet kisses on the same spots.

I turn my head to the left, my eyes still close, gripping his arm with my left hand and using the right one to pull at his neck so his mouth can't leave my skin. His hot breath sends shivers down my spine and I feel his left hand running from my bottom down along my thigh and I quiver slightly at the touch, hardly able to contain my excitement.

"Robin.." His name leaves my mouth without my permission, alongside a lustful moan "I think I lov..". I don't finish the sentence, though, for I open my eyes and they widen even more in fear, my body completely still, when I see it right in front of me.

_The lion tattoo._

**(TBC?)**

* * *

**I can't wait to know what you thought of this chapter! I loved writing it, I swear!**

**So what ****_do_**** you think is going to happen now? How will Regina react? **

**Please review to let me know if I should continue this :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So let's see if you were able to guess what happened next! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

**_Chapter 6 _**

"You're him! Y-You can't be! Was this all because I was meant to find you? The curse and everything that happened was just because destiny wanted me to find you?" I can't breathe I can feel myself starting to panic. I feel the weight of his body lifting from mine as he looks at me, his eyes clearly filled with concern, but all I can do is look at him in fear as I quickly stand up from the couch and put as much distance as I can between us, until my back hits the wall.

Robin tries to take a step towards me but I lift my hand as I say "Stop! Don't come any closer.. Please.."

I can feel my head exploding, my voice quivering. I'm crying, I'm furious, full of self-loathing. What if all that happened during these years, the curse, our having to return to the Enchanted Forest, was all a dirty trick played by destiny to make me find my 'supposedly' true love?

What I'm trying not to admit, not even to myself, is that I'm scared. I'm scared because I could be happy again, because standing in front of me is a man who cares for me and loves me for who I am. _How is that even possible? After all the pain I've caused, all the lives I've destroyed, how can somebody love me?_

These thoughts running through my mind all at once make me dizzy, I can't think clearly and I don't know what to do.

"Regina what's wrong?" I don't even know what to tell him, my mouth opens but no sound comes out, so I raise my hands and in a second I find myself being surrounded by a cloud of purple smoke.

When I open my eyes again I find myself in front of the balustrade in my old bedchamber. It's almost like nothing has changed, I feel like I'm back at the beginning. I feel my legs shaking as I move to reach the bed, but they give out under my weight and I fall against the side of the bed, gripping fistfuls of the soft covers as I start sobbing uncontrollably.

_Why do I always have to screw everything up?_

* * *

I completely lose track of time. Maybe it's been hours or maybe just a couple of minutes, I don't know. I just lie here, on my old bed, staring blankly outside the window, a tear occasionally running down my cheek. At some point I see a green spot in the sky. It's small at first but it gets bigger each second. I don't move, though, I just keep staring at it until I realize what that green spot is. It's Tinkerbell.

She lands on the floor gracefully, shrugging a little to fold her wings before she comes hurrying by my side "Regina, are you okay? Are you hurt?". It takes a lot of effort for me to move my head a little and look at her, I feel so weak "No.. Why are you here?" I say trying to sit up, but Tink has to help me do that. "I'm a fairy, when people need me I find them" she says giving me a sympathetic smile and wiping a tear from my face gently.

"Regina we were worried for you. When we arrived in the Enchanted Forest some of us were missing but, as it turned out, they weren't far from us, whereas we never found you. Where have you been all this time?" I can hear the concern in her voice and I feel my stomach turning at the thought of Robin.

"Do you remember the man with the lion tattoo?" I ask looking at her "I found him..". From the fairy's expression I can tell she's confused so I tell her "His name is Robin Hood and he has a son, a little boy named Roland. I've been staying with them since we arrived here.." I can't help but smile as the memories of the days spent with them surface "I didn't know it was him until tonight, when I saw the tattoo and.. I freaked out" My voice breaks a little as I open up to her. "But, Regina, why? Don't you love him? Usually pixie dust isn't wrong, so.." I interrupt her rambling "I do!" I almost shout at her, though I didn't intend to, so I lower my voice "I _do_ love him, that's the problem..".

"Please, Regina don't do this again, you can be happy!" Tinkerbell's voice is filled with sadness and I can't help but think that I just keep letting everyone down. "Tink, I don't want to hurt them, that's why I left! I'm the Evil Queen, I'm scared that if they stay with me they're gonna end up getting hurt!"

My eyes close as Tink pulls me into a warm hug, giving me a shoulder to cry on "Regina your words prove you're not evil, but if you're scared of hurting them then we should probably find a solution"

My eyes widen in realization and I grab the fairies hands "Take away my magic! That way I won't hurt them! Magic is what darkened my heart and made me evil in the first place, so if you take it away then I could be happy and stop hurting everyone. Can you do that?" I look at her, hoping she's able to satisfy my request.

I see her opening a vial and pouring some of its content on her hand before closing it "Well, I don't know if pixie dust is _that_ powerful but we can try. Are you sure you want to do this?" I smile a little, nodding at her, hoping it will work "Positive."

She smiles and blows softly on the pixie dust, which soon starts falling all over me. I feel a little tingle all over my body but in a few seconds it stops. I look at my hands, trying to see if something has changed before looking up at the fairy "Did it work?".

"There's only one way to know. Try to do something and we shall see" she whispers encouragingly. I lift my hand a little and try a couple of times to conjure a fireball but nothing.

"It's gone.." I look at her again, hoping this is all true and that it's not just a dream "It's gone forever!" I start laughing as I pull Tinkerbell in the biggest hug ever and whisper "Thank you so much, Tink!"

I wait a little to pull away and ask the fairy one more favor "Could you.. bring Robin here? You know, I can't just 'puff' myself there now and, besides, I'm not sure he even wants to see me so.." I say as I keep fidgeting "I just think it would be better for you to bring him here, that's all.."

Tinkerbell places a reassuring hand on my shoulder, smiling at me "Don't worry, I'll bring him here" and with that said I watch her unfold her wings and fly out of the window.

I stand up from the bed and take a look in one of the mirrors hanging on the bedroom walls. I'm a mess, so I close my eyes, focusing to change my dress and comb my hair, but when I open my eyes again and see my reflection in the mirror I'm reminded that I have no magic at all now. It makes me smile a little. This is going to take some getting used to but I can do it.

A couple of minutes later I hear a noise, like the sound of light footsteps, so I turn, expecting to see Robin and Tinkerbell, but they're not here. I walk towards the balcony to see if Tink is near but her green sparkle is nowhere to be seen. Weird. I was pretty sure I had heard something..

"Well, well, well.. you finally made your way home, _my queen.._" this is when I hear it. The cold and familiar voice that sends shivers down my spine. I grip the balustrade tight but I know he's not going to leave and at some point I'll have to face him, so I turn slowly until we're looking at each other.

_"Hello, George."_

* * *

**A/N: HE'S BACK! *****_dramadramadrama_***** but what in the world could he want from Regina now, huh? try and guess ;) can't wait to read your reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

**_Chapter 7_**

He's staring at me, smirking, and after a few seconds of silence he starts pacing the room slowly. I decide to break the ice first, curious as to what he wants from me "So, have you been hiding here since we got back from Storybrooke?" I ask, keeping my back straight and my chin up, not at all eager to show him how weak and defenseless I actually feel. There's still a chance that he doesn't know I haven't got my magic anymore. George lets out a guttural laugh "No, I actually arrived here a couple of days ago and really hoped you would return."

"And why is that?" as he moves towards me I take a few steps to put a little bit of distance between us, never turning my back to him.

"I have a rather interesting offer for you, Regina." I motion for him to continue "If you help me to get rid of Snow and James I'll let you be my queen and rule the kingdom by my side. Think about it: Rumplestiltskin is now gone and with them gone as well this whole land is going to be ours. Besides, what chances would you have to get your reign back all by yourself?"

So this is what he's been up to. Plotting and scheming to rule the kingdom once more, even if it means taking the lives of his son and daughter-in-law "And why would you need my help to do that? Can't you do the dirty work by yourself?".

He takes a step towards me, his soft laughter echoing in the room "Regina, we both know that, in order to get rid of that rather annoying couple, magic is required. I don't have enough men to fight my way into the castle and kill them." another step closer "No, the only way for me to kill them is through magic, getting into the castle unnoticed and take them by surprise, totally unprepared."

He's standing just a few feet away from me now "What do you say, Regina? Care to join forces?"

I must admit that some time ago the proposal would've sounded tempting. Finally getting rid of Snow White and Prince Charming, plus getting to rule the entire land. It wouldn't have been a bad perspective, even if I had to share it all with George. _But I chose love. I chose to be good for Henry, for Roland and for Robin, and I will not let them down. _

"No." I say looking at him defiantly. He seems a little taken aback by my words. After all, everyone knows that all I've ever wanted was nothing more that to have Snow White's head on a silver platter. "I will not let any harm come to my stepdaughter or to her husband, nor will I let you destroy the lives of this land's inhabitants, they have already suffered enough. You were never a fair king. You never cared for your people, all you ever wanted was power."

He looks down as I speak and, even if I can't see his face properly, I sense he is smiling wickedly "So, this is your final saying in the matter? You are not going to help me?" He asks looking up at me. I shake my head slowly before whispering "Not a chance."

"Then you leave me no choice, Regina"

It all happens really fast.

One second we're staring at each other, almost in silence, then I feel him grabbing my arm with such strength that I can't seem to free myself from his grip. In his free hand he's holding a knife he has probably been holding behind his back the entire time.

"Did you think it would be that easy to kill me?" I whisper moving my hand up in the air to form a fireball. And then it dawns on me. I'm powerless against him now, utterly defenseless.

"You have no magic.. Haven't you?" George says laughing "You're useless."

I can't go down without a fight. I rapidly grip his arm with my free hand and pull the man towards me as much as I can, while raising my right leg to hit him in his stomach. He is doubled over but has released my arm, so I kick the fallen knife away from him and turn, trying to make a run for the door. Suddenly, though, I feel his hand closing around my left ankle so that I am sent falling face to the stone floor. My body hurts but I can't stop fighting. At least I hope Tinkerbell is coming back with Robin. What is taking them so long?

I roll on my back and try to sit up. He's towering over me and, out of the blue, I feel a kick right between my chest and my stomach, followed by several others. I feel the metallic taste of blood rising in my mouth and dripping out of it. My face twists in pain, I probably have a couple of broken ribs and it feels hard for me to breathe.

I see George kneeling beside me as he takes a hold of my hair to raise my head from the floor. "Look at what being good did to you, Regina." He says looking down at me, showing nothing but disgust "Well, at least there will be one less person standing in my way now." He lets go of my hair abruptly, making my head fall hard against the floor.

I see him walking away from me to pick up the knife, so I try to stand up and make my way to the door but with no success. I feel too weak, so I end up leaning against the wall to keep myself from falling to the floor once more.

George is in front of me in a matter of seconds, pressing his body heavily against mine to keep me from moving, his left hand at my throat but not pressed so hard as to actually strangle me, while his right hand is holding the knife. He begins to drag the tip of the blade from my chin down between my breasts and down again, never taking his eyes off me, but I keep looking ahead, out of the window, until I see it. The green glow in the sky signaling that Tink and Robin are almost here.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for this moment. To finally overpower you." He whispers in my ear. I register his words but my eyes are fixed ahead as I see the two shapes clearer now. They're almost here. "Robin.." I whisper under my breath.

And this is when I feel it, the cold blade being stuck forcefully into my abdomen. "Long live..." He whispers turning the knife slowly and painfully "_the Evil Queen._"

"... I love you" I manage to whisper letting a single tear run down my cheek when I see Robin landing on his feet on the balcony. I hear him screaming out my name but in the same moment George removes the knife from my body, which causes blood to start gushing out of the wound, staining my white dress, and soon enough I'm lying in a pool of my own blood.

I see Tinkerbell bending over me. George has run out of the door and Robin must have followed him because I can hear the sound of fighting, ending after a couple of minutes with a loud thud, which I assume to be the sound of a body falling lifeless to the floor. I can only hope that it's George's.

"Regina stay with me.." The young fairy whispers with a shaky voice. She's trying to stop the bleeding the best she can, but I know I've lost a lot of blood already. I feel so weak.

After a couple of moments I see Robin falling on his knees next to me. He brushes a few strands of hair away from my face and when he rests his hand on my cheek I feel he's shaking a little. So I make an effort and use what little strength I have left in my body to rest my hand on top of his. I look into his beautiful blue eyes and see he's crying.

"I love you, Regina.."

These are the last words I hear before my world goes dark.

* * *

**A/N: Sooo.. what was your reaction to this chapter? **

**In the next I'll use Robin's point of view, so what do you think that means for our poor Regina?**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, they really made my day! Keep them coming and.. enjoy this chapter! :)**

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

**_Chapter 8_**

**_Robin's P.O.V_**

"I love you, Regina.." I whisper while caressing her cheek with my thumb. I even manage to smile through the tears a little. The smile vanishes soon enough, though, when I see her eyes closing slowly.

"Regina.. Regina!" I say while shaking her gently, my voice low at first due to the lump in my throat, then louder when the fear of losing the woman I love takes over me "Don't you dare leave me like this!"

I turn to look at the fairy who's sitting next to me. Given by the look on her face, she's as shocked as I am "Tink, you have to do something! You have to save her! Please.." I plead, looking at her. She doesn't look at me, she's too busy trying to stop the bleeding. I notice her hands are shaking, besides being full of blood, and she's shivering "I..I.." I think she's on the verge of tears as well.

"Can't you use pixie dust?" She looks at me apologetically as she whispers "I used the last bit to make you fly… I'm sorry".

I look back at Regina's face. She's still breathing, I can see it from the subtle rise and fall of her chest, but she has lost way too much blood "We need to take her to the cottage and get the healer. Can you do that?"

"I think so" Tinkerbell replies with a little bit of uncertainty "You should still be able to fly with the pixie dust I blew on you earlier, but we have to be quick".

I stand up, holding Regina's limp body in my arms "Stay with me, Regina, don't leave me.."

* * *

The moment our feet touch the ground again I look up at the cottage and see there is light coming from the window, which means someone is in there. I rush into the living room to find Little John standing right in front of me and heave a small sigh of relief as I place Regina gently on the couch.

I hear Tink and Little John whispering but can't quite make out what they're saying. She's probably telling him what happened but we don't have time for this "Little John, I need you to go to the village as fast as you can and find a healer" there's no need to say it twice, for in a matter of seconds he's out the door.

"Tink, get me a clean cloth, they're in the cupboard in the bathroom.. She's losing so much blood.." I say as my voice turns into a barely audible whisper. I press two fingers against her neck to feel her pulse and, as I feared, it's getting weaker.

"Daddy?"

What had not even crossed my mind at all when I entered the cottage was the 4-year-old who was now smiling at me from the bedroom doorframe. I try to stop him but he runs towards me and a couple of seconds later he's hugging me tight. I don't have enough time to stop him from turning to spare him the view of Regina, lying in front of him, with her white dress still covered in blood.

He seems paralyzed at first. He takes a small step towards her, stretching his arm out to touch her cheek with his shaky little hand, as if to make sure it was all real and not just a bad dream. _How I wish it was.._

When he feels how cold she is he retracts his arm and takes a few steps back, crashing into me in the process. When I hear his soft cry turn into a heartbreaking wail I turn him towards me and hug him, keeping his head pressed against my chest. I realize that I'm crying too when a drop of the salty water falls on my hand.

I look up to find Tinkerbell handing me the cloth, so I let go of Roland to take care of Regina's wound.

"Come with me, Roland" Tink tries to convince him the best she can, despite her quivering voice, but Roland doesn't seem at all willing to leave Regina's side. Tink scoops him up in her arms, though he keeps screaming and kicking, and brings him in the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

I have no time to worry about him too, though. I enlarge the hole in the dress caused by the knife, in order to have more access to the wound. Blood is still gushing out of it. I press the cloth firmly against the injury with one hand while I take Regina's cold hand with the other and rest it lightly against my cheek. Tears start pooling in my eyes again as I look at her, wondering how much more she can take. _What the hell is taking Little John so long? The village isn't that far away and he took the horse, for heaven's sake.._

I keep staring at her chest to make sure she's still breathing. The movement is barely visible but it's there, at least for now. "Regina please don't leave me.." I start whispering to her "I know you've suffered a lot during your life but I'm here know. I'm here to protect you and nothing will keep me from doing that. I know I don't have much to offer to you, but I love you and I can't imagine what my life would be without you anymore. We could be a family, just you, Roland and I. He loves you so much, I can see it in his eyes. You can't leave us, Regina.. I love you with all my heart.." I say as I close my eyes and turn my head slightly to kiss the palm of her hand.

When I look at her chest again, though, I can't see its slow rise and fall anymore. "She's not breathing.." I whisper as my eyes widen in panic "Tink! She's not breathing!" I scream before hearing the bedroom door opening. Tinkerbell stops on the doorframe, though, with Roland hiding behind her legs, still crying his eyes out. It breaks my heart to see my little boy like this.

As if on cue, Little John steps into the living room with the healer following right behind. I move to give her the space she needs but I don't let go of Regina's hand for a second. I have to remove my other hand from the cloth, though, and the woman proceeds to examine the wound.

After that, she takes an instrument from her bag, one I've already seen when Marian.. I can't even think of that right now. She places one end of the device on Regina's chest, to listen to her heartbeat or if she's breathing, I don't know, probably both.

"How long has she been unconscious?" she asks, looking up at me "I don't know, maybe 20 minutes, but she was breathing just.."

I don't get to finish the sentence, though, because I completely freeze when I see the healer closing her eyes, slowly removing the instrument, and looking down before turning face to me "I am so sorry.."

That's all she says. Or, at least, all I hear. Four words that break my heart completely. I can almost feel it shattering inside me and I know that this time I won't be able to put the pieces back together.

_She's gone.._

The woman stands up so I take her place next to Regina. She looks so pale but so peaceful and so beautiful. "No.. no please, Regina, don't do this to me.." I whisper, letting the tears run freely down my cheeks as I rest my forehead against her waist "don't leave me.. I can't imagine my life without you.." my voice breaks and I reach out with my hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear "_I love you.._".

I bend over her and my lips meet her cold ones, the feeling sending shivers down my spine, along with the tears that are still falling from my eyes. The shivers are not the only thing I feel, though. The moment I kiss her, I feel as if a wave of energy is running over us and then spreading all around. It's weird, like nothing I've ever felt before.

When I pull back and open my eyes I can't help but smile, for Regina's brown ones are staring right back at me.

"_I love you too.._"

**_(TBC?)_**

* * *

**A/N: She's aliveee :D sorry for the previous chapter but I felt like this story needed some real drama, don't you think? ;) **

**So now it's up to you: I was thinking about continuing the story with a lot of Outlaw Queen fluffy and romantic scenes and THEN to add some new (and old) characters to the story. **

**So tell me, should I continue this or not? Review and let me know :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

**_Chapter 9_**

**_Regina's p.o.v._**

"_I love you too.._" I whisper as my eyes lock with his bright blue ones_. _I lift my hands to cup his face and pull him into a soft, tender kiss. I run my fingers through his hair before I break the kiss and wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me up into a sitting position and hugs me tight, hiding his face in the crook of my neck.

I can feel him shaking before feeling a couple of tears on my skin "I thought I lost you.." he manages to say through the tears. I close my eyes as I stroke his hair slowly, trying to soothe him. "It's okay, Robin.. I'm here.." I whisper before placing a kiss on his cheek.

"..'Gina?" I hear Roland's small voice calling and lift my head slightly to look over the couch. I see him in Tinkerbell's arms, his eyes still red from crying his heart out. The fairy looks quite upset herself but also clearly relieved to see I'm apparently fine.

"Hey, sweetheart" I hear my own voice breaking due to the lump in my throat. I smile to him while giving a nod to Tink. She lets him down and the little boy comes running towards us. Robin picks him up and places him between the two of us. Roland throws his arms around my neck and I place a kiss on his forehead before resting my head on top of his.

"Please, don't leave us like my mommy did" he says quietly.

His words bring tears to my eyes but I push them back. Instead, I smile looking up at Robin "Don't worry, honey. I'm not going anywhere.."

* * *

After an hour the house is quiet again. Little John brought the healer back to the village then went home, while Tinkerbell agreed to stay and watch over Roland. She's now lying on the couch with the little boy curled up against her, both fast asleep, so Robin can sleep in his son's bed and look after me in the remote chance that something happens to me during the night.

Despite all the blood I saw on the dress I was wearing, there's no sign of the wound now. I bathed in order to remove the sticky blood from my body and I'm now standing in front of the full-length mirror in the bathroom, running my fingers softly on the spot where George hit me. There are no scars, there's no physical damage anymore but, when I close my eyes, I can still feel the pain, as if the blade was still there, being twisted slowly inside of my body.

I open my eyes again and try not to think about it anymore. I put on a clean nightgown and make my way to the bedroom. It's almost dawn, I can tell because of the small amount of light coming from the window. Robin must have noticed too, because he has already shut all the windows and is now closing the bedroom one as well. After all, it's been quite an eventful and tiring night for everyone and we all need some rest.

The only light in the room is the one coming from the fireplace in the living room. Thanks to it I can see Robin's face when he turns towards me. I smile shyly at him and slip under the covers of the double bed I shared with Roland since my arrival.

Robin sits on the edge of the bed and takes my hand in his. "You really scared me tonight.." he whispers, bending down to place a soft kiss on my forehead "..please don't do it again. I don't know what I would do if I lost you.."

He stands up slowly, heading to Roland's bed. I don't let go of his hand, though, and pull him back slightly.

"Would you mind.. staying here with me?" I ask him shyly. There's no need for me to ask him twice, though. He lifts the covers and I move to make room for him.

I feel safe, lying with my back against his chest, his strong arm wrapped around my waist and his fingers intertwined with mine. It feels as if nothing bad could happen while I'm in his arms. I turn my head a little to place a tender kiss on his lips, lingering a little to relish the moment.

There's no need for words. We lie in a comfortable silence, listening to each other's heartbeats as if their sound created the most beautiful lullaby, to which we fall asleep.

* * *

I must've twisted and turned during my sleep because when I open my eyes I find Robin's face right in front of me. Quite frankly, I couldn't ask for a better way to wake up. He's still sleeping, holding me close to him with his arm still wrapped around my waist. Our faces are mere inches apart and I can feel his warm breath on my skin.

The small amount of light coming through the small opening in the window allows me to see his face. I wonder what time it is, though I don't care that much. I feel perfectly fine lying here, in Robin's arms. Not a moment in my whole life has felt half as peaceful.

The bedroom door has been closed while we slept, but I can hear Roland's voice on the other side. He's laughing alongside someone, probably Little John, so I decide to stay in bed a little longer. I raise a hand silently, careful not to wake Robin, and start running my fingers through his soft hair.

I can't help but wonder why I was so lucky, despite all the bad things I've done in my life. Maybe there is still hope for me, after all.

A couple of minutes later he opens his eyes slowly and smiles at me "Good morning.." he whispers softly. I laugh a little under my breath as he pulls me a little closer to him "Probably more like evening"

"Did we sleep all day?" he asks raising his eyebrows a little in disbelief.

"I think we have.." I whisper before letting silence take over once more as I look into his bright blue eyes.

Robin raises a hand to rest it on my cheek and starts stroking it with his thumb. His touch is so gentle, so loving, so unlike anything I've been used to during my life that I can't stop a hot tear from running down my cheek.

"Hey.. everything alright?" I can tell his voice is full of concern but there's nothing he has to worry about, because I believe that tear was, for once, a tear of happiness.

"I was just thinking and I realized something, which is that I'm very lucky. I could be dead right now. You know, there are people who die every day and I almost died too. But I didn't. Because of some reason I'm completely oblivious to, I'm alive. I've been given a second chance, not only at life but also at love and happiness. Many people never get to meet their true love but I did. I don't know why I'm so lucky, considering all the pain I've inflicted, I feel like I don't deserve any of this. Maybe fate brought me here, to you, because it has something in store for me but, until I find out what that is, I decided that I want to be happy. Because I'm here, I'm alive and I have you and Roland. What more could I ever ask for?"

I close the distance between us and brush my lips against his, making sure he hasn't changed his mind about us, before we give into the kiss. It's gentle, at first, but soon enough we let ourselves go. It's a hot, passionate kiss but not filled with lust. On the contrary, it is full of love and affection. Our lips part and we slowly start tasting each other, until a low moan escapes my mouth and I remember that we're not alone in the house.

I reluctantly break the kiss and rest my forehead against his "I love you, Robin.. with all my heart"

"I love you too, Regina"

And for a moment it's as if we're alone in the world, just Robin and I, because nothing else matters. We are safe in each other's arms and all that matters is that we've finally found each other. It's a new beginning.

_Our_ new beginning.

**_(TBC?)_**

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for my absence but exams got in the way. I also had some difficulties writing this charter, believe it or not it appears that it's easier for me to write drama rather than fluff. Nevertheless, I'm going to concentrate on Regina and Robin's love story ****_for now_****. Please let me know what you thought about this chapter :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the delay but study got in the way of writing. Anyway, I really wanted to upload this chapter by tonight, but I haven't had time to check it (and I swear, my eyes are closing - it's past 3am here), so I'll correct eventual typos tomorrow.**

**I've finally been able to write some serious OQ romance, yay! So, enjoy! ;)**

**Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time belongs to Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, I only own the plot of this story.**

* * *

**_Chapter 10_**

When we get out of the bedroom we find Roland, Little John and Tinkerbell waiting for us.

Roland runs to me and I pick him up right before he crashes against my legs.

"Hey, little man, what have you been up to?" I ask him as I tap his nose playfully only to hear him giggle "Tink and I picked up some flowers for you" he says pointing at some beautiful wildflowers that have been put in a crock and set on the windowsill.

"Aww, thank you sweetheart, they're beautiful!" I say kissing his cheek gently.

"We were just about to wake you two up" says Little John "The Merry Men are having a dinner in the woods and we wanted to know if you'd like to join us" he addresses me a little shyly "It's our way of apologizing to you, Regina, for not believing you had changed.."

"You don't need to apologize, I would've probably done the same thing" I say, letting a sad smile cross my face. I turn to look at Robin, who is running his hand down my back and says "Well, Little John, lead the way"

I let Roland down and, as we follow Little John out the door, I turn to look at Tink, who has stayed behind and is now unfolding her wings "Aren't you coming with us?"

"I promised Snow and Charming that I would've informed them when I found you. Is there something you want me to tell them?" she asks.

I think about it for a minute. We've certainly had a troubled history but I think I feel closer to Snow now than ever. The curse was my fault and when Pan cast it we both lost our child.

"Just.. tell them I'm sorry."

* * *

The Merry Men have built a campfire and placed logs around it for us to sit. They took care of everything, they prepared a stew, quite delicious I might add, and now some of them have started playing some music. If I were to guess, I'd say this is what being among friends feels like, not that I have much experience of that.

Roland dozen off pretty soon, so Robin brought him back to the cottage, since it's not that far away, just to make sure he wouldn't catch a cold. I don't really have someone to talk to while he's gone. The Merry Men have apologized to me and have been friendly the whole night, but I still feel alone, even if I'm surrounded by people.

I excuse myself to stretch my legs only to stop when I reach the end of the woods. I'm not very far away from the group, for I still can see the light of the fire in the distance. Apparently the woods end right before a downhill, so I find myself looking at the whole valley.

During the years we spent in Storybrooke, what was damaged has been rebuilt, though I know the village that lies in front of me is one of the few that were protected from the curse. I wonder if someone I know is currently in one of the houses I'm looking at. Maybe someone was reunited with a loved one, maybe they're happy.

I really hope they are, after all I put them through. I hope they are because I know what it's like not to be happy and I know what it's like when you lose a loved one.

As I lean against a tree and look at the bright moon in the sky, I wonder if Henry is looking at it as well. I don't even know if the moon is the same we saw from Storybrooke but I like to believe it is. At least it feels like he's still here with me.

A thought hits me. Snow and Charming are not the only ones who lost someone. Hook lost Emma as well. Although we have our differences, I can't help but regard Killian as my friend, especially now. I know he already lost love once, and I know what that feels like, it tears you up inside, but losing it a second time.. I can only imagine what he is going through.

"Best view I've ever seen.." Robin's soft voice interrupts my thoughts, and as he speaks I feel his strong arms wrapping around my waist. I close my eyes for a moment a turn my head just enough to hide my face in the crook of his neck. I place my hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. I can't help but find comfort in that sound.

We stay like this for a while, until I find Robin removing his arms from my waist so that I have to stand on my own instead of leaning against him. Once we're facing each other he offers me his hand, but I frown a little at him, not understanding his intentions.

"Would you like to dance with me, m'lady?" he asks, smiling at me.

My eyebrows shoot upwards as my eyes widen "You're joking, right?" I let out a nervous laugh "I mean, I haven't danced in ages, we would probably fall to the ground and roll down the hill!" I say, raising my arms a little before letting them fall dramatically.

He laughs quietly, clearly not taking me seriously, but he doesn't move his hand "Come on, it wouldn't be a true party without some dancing. Plus, I refuse to believe you're that bad".

I hesitate a little and hear him whisper something "I suggest you to accept now while the guys are playing this slow one before they go back to their usual rhythm. I wouldn't like to really end up rolling down the hill".

I laugh, take a breath and finally take his hand "I swear, I'm terrible at this", I whisper apologetically as I place my hand on his shoulder and feel his own settling on my waist. We keep a little distance between us so I can look at our feet and figure out how to move. At least until Robin lifts my chin with his hand to make me look into his eyes "Just follow me"

He pulls me a little closer to him and I nod for him to start.

"Back.. left.. forward.. right.." he instructs as he starts moving. I follow his movements quite easily until he tries to make me spin and I trip over something and land directly into his arms.

This is so embarrassing "I told you I wasn't good at this.."

"Maybe you just need a little help"

Without warning he lifts me up, making me place my feet on his when I land. I can't help but laugh wholeheartedly when he starts moving slowly and freely, as if he's lifting a feather.

"See? You're a fantastic dancer" he says grinning at me.

I rest my forehead against him, my arms wrapped comfortably around his neck while his are holding me tight against him. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. He must have sensed something if off with me because he stops moving but doesn't say a word, waiting for me to open up instead.

"I love you" he smiles at me but before he can reply I press my lips against his. He soon takes control, though, and I part my lips, granting him access. Our tongues soon start moving around as we taste each other. I can sense lust building up inside me and by the way Robin is responding to the kiss I think the same goes for him. Our lips part only due to the lack of air. I wait a few seconds, trying to get a bit of oxygen into my lungs, before biting his lower lip gently and playfully, staring up at him and not able to wipe the smile off my face.

"Come with me" he whispers before taking my hand and leading me back to the cottage to retrieve one of the horses.

* * *

The ride is quiet, I just hug Robin from behind, enjoying the cool breeze against my skin until we come to a halt near a riverbank. Robin helps me down the horse and, without letting go of my hand, starts walking alongside the small river. At some point I hear a little buzz which grows louder as we walk.

When Robin stops and motions for me to look down I understand where the noise is coming from, because I'm looking at a 20 feet tall waterfall. I have some sort of déjà vu, it's like I've been here before but I can't remember when or with whom. Maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me, so I dismiss the thought. Instead, I turn to look at Robin, who is taking his clothes off.

I admire his fit body as he takes everything off, except for his underwear, then when my eyes meet his I understand he's expecting me to take my clothes off as well.

"Have you gone completely mad? It's freezing!" I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"The water is actually hot. Trust me, I've been here before."

I look down, frowning a little "It's just.. very tall"

Robin takes a step towards me and places his hands on my hips "Regina, I swear, it's gonna be fine. Do you trust me?" He asks smiling at me, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight.

Instead of taking his hand I turn my back to him "Would you mind helping me with my corset?" I ask seductively and feel shivers run down my spine when his hot hands brush my skin. When he's done removing the corset I let the dress fall to the ground, keeping only my underwear on, like Robin did. I let his eyes wonder over my well-toned body for a while before taking his hand and walking with him to the edge of the rocks.

I feel like a teenager again as a mixture of fear and excitement builds inside of me. I squeeze his hand a little and our eyes lock for a moment "Close your eyes, it's much better, trust me".

I look down at the small lake in front of us then nod at Robin. My heart beating so heart that I fear it's going to jump out of my chest, but the feeling is exhilarating. I hear Robin count softly and when he says _three_ we jump.

I close my eyes like Robin instructed and it feels like flying. My nerves are still a little tense, knowing that an impact with the water is now impossible to avoid and that it's probably going to hurt a little.

I'm happy to say I was wrong. My feet hit the water first, so it doesn't really hurt. Plus, Robin was right, the water is actually warm and it feels so nice against my skin after leaving it exposed to the cool air.

I wait a second, relishing the moment, before I start moving my legs to resurface. I think I swallowed a little bit of water, which causes me to cough a little. I let go of Robin's hand, which I was still holding, in order to rub my eyes before opening them.

I still feel the adrenaline running through my veins. I swim over to Robin and wrap my legs around his waist as my lips meet his in a passionate kiss. I run my fingers through his wet hair as he lowers his head to leave a trail of kisses along my neck, making me arch my back to press my body against his while pushing my head back to expose more skin for him to kiss.

I unfasten my bra and we have to part a little in order to take our undergarments off, but in a few seconds we're back to the previous position. _Well, now I know that he's as excited as I am._

The bottom of the lake is not muddy, for there are rocks instead of earth, and the same goes for the edges. Robin moves backwards until we're against the rocks and he's standing on the stones below us, though we're still immersed in water up to our chest.

As we keep kissing, Robin slowly enters me and our bodies soon start moving in unison. I let out a low laugh which is interrupted by a moan when I feel Robin squeezing my breasts and then sucking and gently biting my nipples. I grip his hair tightly to hold onto him, hoping I'm not hurting him. Just when I need him to, he increases the speed and I feel the pleasurable warmth at the base of my abdomen spreading all over my body. I louder moan escapes my lips when I reach my climax and my walls tighten against him as I feel Robin releasing his seed inside me.

We stay like this for a while, kissing each other tenderly in the moonlight, smiling at each other, because we're finally happy and nothing could ruin this moment.

_**(TBC?)**_

* * *

**A/N: Please review, can't wait to know what you think about it :) xx**


End file.
